Inspired by a photo taken by humanclayphotography520.
As the train rushed by in a blur, his race turned into a run and then into a jog, until he finally settled to a complete stop across from the whirring train. It was going to be one of those days. He’d made a commitment to himself that he was going to be on top of it at work today. Get up earlier than usual and be seated at his desk before anyone else got there. Then they would see what a truly industrious design artist he was, hunkered over his open sketch pad with fresh design ideas flowing over the pages.
Yet, on this particular morning the neighbor had set her alarm to go off exceptionally early. It was already ten minutes into the incessant buzzing when he finally realized she wasn’t home. She hadn’t returned from the night before had she? So no one was there to turn it off. After cursing all his neighbor’s future fortunes, he eventually fell back off into wonderland as the buzzing stopped. Unfortunately when he did rise, it was past sunrise. He didn’t even have time to wash his face, though he did manage to brush his teeth.
He sat on the bench waiting impatiently for the next train to come. His stomach started to grumble as he considered whether he should stop at the vendor first to pick up a juice and muffin. The he reconsidered, as strolling into the office late wasn’t bad enough, arriving with breakfast in hand certainly wouldn’t enhance the image.
He bolted upright as he felt the rumble of the next train pulling into the station. He’d have about fifteen minutes and six stops to figure out the breakfast situation. He slouched into one of the seats on the train and looked down at his pants. He was glad he’d hung them up this time because he wouldn’t have had time to iron. He checked the insoles of his shoes to assess the damage. Damn! David was slightly pigeon toed and notorious for scuffing up his dress shoes. He finally looked up and glanced around the train at the passengers around him. We’re all late, he thought to himself. He absentmindedly began to try out different excuses that might sound half way plausible for why he’d been running late, hadn’t called and hadn’t emailed anyone ahead of time. Shit!
The day was not going well and it was only, fuck, 9:30 in the morning!
David fidgeted the entire train ride. Meanwhile, his thoughts drifted from the unlikeliest scenarios – no one really noticing his absence just yet – to much worst case scenarios, all of which he felt were much more probable and one of which involved him being escorted out of the building. The train finally pulled into David’s station. He was so anxious he jumped up before the train could come to a complete stop and nearly knocked over an elderly man with a cane standing in front of him. No need dawdling now, he thought. He glanced at his watch and then bound up the stairs with the crush of the crowd behind him pushing him forward. By the time he’d made it to street level his heart was pounding as though he’d run the whole way.
Fifteen minutes racking his brain and it was inexplicable, even to him, as to how he’d managed to miss the meeting for the project updates with the client. He could feel his face flush as he put his hand to his forehead and raked his fingers through his hair.
At the last minute, David slightly delayed his efforts by taking a detour to the nearest corner vendor. He grabbed a cup of coffee, though it wasn’t as if he needed the caffeine. He negotiated his saddle bag over his left shoulder while firmly gripping his coffee, probably a bit too firmly as the lid began to pucker.
“Great, the last thing I need is coffee stains up and down my suit,” he mumbled to himself.
He steadily ascended the building riding the elevator to the 14th floor. For all his focus on his immediate problems, he was blindsided when his boss, Mark, caught him straightaway as he entered his workstation.
“David,” he said with a slanted smile, “running a bit behind are we?”
David hadn’t quite formed his game plan, much less his game face. He smiled nervously. “Hey Mark. Yeah, it’s been a bit of a rough morning. There was some kind of false alarm at my building. Everyone had to leave their unit and of course I left my phone in the apartment. It’s really just been a hell of a morning.” I said calmly, yet apologetically. Mark peered at me over the rim of his glasses, chewing his lower lip and assessing my story. It was unnerving not being able to read his expression. “Meet me in my office in ten David, okay?” It was an instruction, not a question.
I can do this, he said to himself. All I have to do is convince them that I am a committed and capable part of this team. The last few months clearly don’t represent the quality of work that I can produce. Yet David had already felt defeated before he’d even uttered a word. It was clear that it was serious this time. Decisively David began to gather his things calmly. First he collected all of his design ideas he’d recorded in various oversized sketching notebooks. He went over to Angie’s desk, the secretary and asked if she was going to use the extra Xerox box under her desk. She easily parted with it.
David packed all of the work he’d created, his life’s work that he’d dedicated to the company over the last four years, not leaving so much as sketch on a post-it note. He clumsily carried his box, drawing pads and saddle bag – he’d ditched the coffee, and managed to make his way to the elevators. Stan, the copy room guy, saw David struggling and offered him a hand.
“Yo dude. Did they fire you?” Stan asked. “No.” David responded. “So are you quitting then?” David paused as if to analyze the question appropriately and replied, “No. I just needed to clean my office of some of the clutter is all.”
His response seemed sufficient as he and Stan rode down the elevator together in silence. Once they reached lobby level Stan asked if David had a ride or was taking a cab. As David hadn’t really thought that far ahead and realized there was no way to safely negotiate his belongings onto the train, he asked Stan if he could sit with his things so he could run out and get one.
David raised his arm in the air while standing on the curb outside of the building. He stood there, with the whipping almost through, weathering the ice chills that cut through him like a true Chicagolander.
“Hey! Hey!” He called out to the yellow cabs passing by until he finally got a Checker Cab.
“Thanks Stan. I really appreciate the help.” David remarked as they both loaded up the trunk. David turned and extended his hand to Stan. Stan looked quizzically at him as he hesitantly shook it. “I thought you were cleaning up your office. You’re not coming back later?”
David offered a small smile with a thoughtful look and said, “Maybe not today.”
The taxi ride backed to his apartment seemed ten times faster than the cab ride this morning. He’d only begun contemplating lunch as he forced himself not to think about what had just happened.
What had just happened? He’d been on his way to work, late, as had become his usual pattern. He’d missed a client meeting no less. He was getting himself to take whatever heat they were going to put on him and deflect it in any manner possible. But then what happened? He thought he’d be fired and instead decided to quit instead. He could always explain to his next employer that the work conditions were just unacceptable and the agency was really going down in terms of management.
Maybe, but he’d felt relief not dread when he’d done it. His phone rang. “Hello.” Damn, he’d forgotten to look at the caller ID first. He really was distracted.
“David. Where are you? Mark has pretty much put out an all points bulletin for you. Stan said he helped you ‘clean up’ your workstation this morning and said you wouldn’t be back for the day.” David frowned. Now he wished he hadn’t said anything.
“Angie, it’s fine. I’m just not feeling very well. Can you tell Mark …,” he paused. Tell Mark what? Sheesh. “Can you let Mark know that I’m on my way to see my physician and I’ll be emailing him as soon as I get back?” He couldn’t think of anything else to say. He regretted it almost immediately.
“Oh my goodness!” Angie exclaimed with genuine empathy. “Are you alright? Is it something serious?”
There was a pause before David responded, very slowly. “I really can’t say right now, but I will email you all as soon as I can.” Another pause.
“Oh. Well okay. We’ll be thinking of you over here and wishing you the all the best in – .”
“Thanks.” David interjected and quickly said goodbye before hanging up the phone. He couldn’t talk right now. Hell, he could barely think. Panic began to set in as he realized the gravity of what he’d just done. Needless to say, the relief he’d initially felt was beginning to wear off.
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